Sometimes we may feature interviews with our users.  They could be farmers, farm vendors, etc. Here we conduct an interview with an unusual and early adopter of LivestockCity.   His name is “Testcrash Dummy” and he is a pretty funny guy.  We wondered why he would join LivestockCity.  Read our interview with Testcrash below.


Q: You seem like the most unlikely “person” to join a farming platform.  Why did you do it?

A: Actually, I don’t know.  I am not exactly an Einstein….is this going to be a bunch of hard questions?


Q: Okay, sorry, I didn’t think tha-

A: Yeah exactly.  You didn’t think I would know the answer, did you? Well you are right.


Q: Perhaps we should just move on to the next question.  Can you tell me a little bit about who you are?  Where did you 
grow up? What was your childhood like, etc. 

A: I guess you could say I had a non-typical childhood.  My dad worked a professional car wrecker, so did mom.   My older brother was studying to also be involved in car wrecks.  My grandfather and grandmother were also professional car wreckers.  We sort of all look alike. You can tell we are relatives. I grew up outside of Detroit in a small community where everyone also looks like us.  It is loud, all the time.


Q: I see.  So your family is a bunch of crash test dummies and you grew up in a facility where the dummies are made?

A.  Umm, you are not very politically correct.  “Crash test dummy” is a very insulting thing to call us.  We prefer to be called “Professional car wreckers.”


Q: Okay, sorry, I didn’t know that.  But, your name is Testcrash Dummy.

A: (No response, just awkward silence)


Q: Moving on, I know from your posts on LivestockCity, you have many friends.  Will they be also be joining LivestockCity?

A: I seriously doubt it.  You must be talking about Larry and Vince.  Those guys are celebrities.  They’ve been on TV and film.  They are now wrecking the expensive cars.  Teslas, BMWs, and Mercedes.  That is the very top. For a PWC, that is the highest achievement you can get.  (Interviewer’s note: we didn’t know what “PWC” was. We could only assume he meant to say “PCW”, which would stand for Professional Car Wrecker).


Q: You mention your friend Joe in a post on LivestockCity that doesn’t seem to be in the in the same career as you.  What is he like?

A: Yeah Joe is a man of few words….actually no words.  But he is highly skilled at taking a beating in martial arts.  He is basically the same as me, except instead of putting his head through windshields, he gets kicked in the head or stabbed. Joe never fights back. I told him, he needs to learn how to hit back. You know, don’t just sit there like a dummy.


Q: What are some movies you like?

A:  Well, my favorite all time movie is Dumber and Dumb.  That is a fantastic movie.   I also like the one with Forrest Gump in it.  The Waterboy is also a classic.


Q: Your son Timmy seems to want to follow in your footsteps according to your post about him.  Does that make you proud? 

A: Yes, very proud.  But it is not like he has a choice.  He doesn’t have a lot in the brain department.  When he was smaller, I was hopeful he could be unlike the rest of us and be a surgeon.  But as he developed, he didn’t develop, and now it is really too late for him to start something like preschool.  So, he will definitely be a car wrecker.  Well, first he can be a passenger wrecker and once he is about 16, he can be a car wrecker.  No drivers license or special skills needed for that.


Q: Let’s change 
gears and talk about farming? Do you have any involvement at all in farming?

A: I enjoy a good hamburger now and then, does that count?  I also have a goat.  I don’t know what to do with it.  I don’t know where it came from.  It just showed up one day and it never left, so we have a goat inside the community housing.  It craps everywhere and eats things like sweaters.


Q: Well, it has been an interesting interview, getting to you know you.  Is there anything you hope to get out of being on the LivestockCity platform?

A: No.


Q: Is there anything else you wanted to say? Anything we didn’t touch on, that you want the readers to know?

A: I am thinking about running for President of the United States.   But I don’t know where to get an application.  I hope my work history is enough to land the job.  Can this interview count as the job interview for President?  Also, I think either Larry or Vince would join me as a running mate. That might improve my chances.   Hopefully the hiring guy will see the potential in me and select me as the next president.


Q: Okay, that is a great goal.  Good luck to you.  Thanks for answering some of our questions and be safe in the car wrecks.

A: Ok.  Next question.

Categories: General